PARED JENA copia
Nombre:
Lugar: International Singin' Sensation

miércoles, febrero 22, 2012

Jena of the day: el hombre desactualizado



(pie de foto: elhombredesactualizadoylasbirmettes) 

No sé a ustedes, pero a mí el excepcional e histórico discurso de Enrique González Macho el día de la ceremonia de entrega de los Goya me recordó a ese campañón de Sra. Rushmore para ya.com, creado por mi amigo, el no menos excepcional e histórico @ImCesarGarcia. Revisiónenla, para su deleite:





Más allá de que el Club de la Comedia hace un especial con éste, con Javier Nart y con Adolfo Barbero y estoy seguro de que reventarían los índices de audiencia, coincidirán conmigo en el que el discursito del sr. González Macho resultó ligeramente viejuno. Se me ocurre que, quizás, el sr. González Macho visualiza lo que viene siendo el Ínternet (observen la acentuación esdrújula) en un Inves 486 a 20 MHz y, claro, la cosa no anda como es debido y no le ve las posibilidades.

El caso es que, aquí donde me ven, desde hace un buen montón de años me he visualizado consecutivamente las películas candidatas a los Goya con el deportivo objetivo de batir a mi señora en una quiniela pronosticadora. La secuencia era ésta: vemos como 20 películas si una mala otra peor, pronosticamos, vemos la gala, ponemos cara de "Dios mío, esto cada año está peor", no nos reímos con casi ningún chiste, contamos los aciertos y ella siempre me gana.

Así, he visto cosas que ustedes no creerían. He visto Siete mesas de billar francés un sábado por la tarde en una sala en la que había más mesas de billar francés que espectadores. He visto Lucía y el sexo. Entera. He visto La Torre de Suso, cuyos dos protagonistas principales están entre las tres personas que menos gracia me hacen del mundo. He visto Ninette. La de Garci. Porque estaba nominado Gil Parrondo ("Oscar de la Academia", mantra que repite mi madre cada vez que sale su nombre en unos títulos de crédito.). He visto Donkey Xote en un único pase que daban en toda la comunidad de Madrid, un jueves por la noche en un multicine de Alcalá de Henares. Sin niños.

Y es cierto que también he descubierto joyas que me hubieran pasado desapercibidas como Cineastas contra Magnates o El último truco. Emilio Ruiz del Río. Pero el ratio jena/todo bien estará como 247/1.

Así que, querido D. Enrique, como diría García, no soy dudoso. El tema es que, aunque pienso que no hay nada como ver una película (aunque sea una jena) en el cine, mi vida es un pelín complicada. Ya sabe: un curro con horario complicadito, un Jena Jr. en su máximo esplendor siempre amenazando con el FIFA 12 y/o dar una vuelta en bici, Ricky Rubio que está que se sale en Minnesota, ¿Quién quiere casarse con mi hijo? y GH 12+1 simultáneamente, el Marca en Orbyt y una señora very demanding.

Entonces, D. Enrique, como humilde espectador, casi que póngamelo fácil. A estas alturas del partido, piensen de una puñetera vez en el consumidor. Es decir, en mí. Pónganme TODAS las candidatas a los Goya en Filmin, Filmotech, Wuaki o Waku-Waku. Y yo, religiously, pagaré por verlas. Porque ahora, además, si quiero verlas no tengo dónde. Quiero ver Escuchando al Juez Garzón (aunque realmente no tengo ningunas ganas de escucharle) y quizás haya un pase en un cine-estudio de Torres, Jaén, localidad natal del magistrado. Y me pilla un poco retirao.

Porque el año pasado ya me cansé de todo esto y me puse en huelga de goyas hasta que pueda ver todas las candidatas por el Ínternet. Y ustedes dirán: eso que sale usted ganando, intelectualmente. Y yo les responderé: pues no les falta razón, pero cada uno se intoxica con lo que quiere.

D. Enrique, actualícese. Llame usted a Paciencia Informática (que es el mejor nombre de empresa ordenadorística de la historia) y ya verá cómo le dan a su botón de reset y solucionado el problema.

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